In a stroke of genius, Kevin graced us with the name "angry beaver". Folks, if you are wondering what it takes to get into MIT, look no further-euphamisms for the female reproductive cycle. Well done, Kevin, and congratulations. You win absolutely nothing.
Now, we'd like to get another contest going, you know, as a guise that we care about what you say but really just as a meter find out how many hits we're getting. We can be real dicks sometimes.
Anyways, your challenge is to come up with an ideal imaginary ice cream flavor. Easy enough, no? Well, the caveat is that the name also has to be fitting for a Mexican food restaurant and a pet name for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Do your worst...
As starters: Hot Choco Taco, Sweet Carne' Ammaretto Crunch.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
A New Direction
I was recently listening to NPR and heard a man who had contributed a lot to charity because of his great success on the stock market answer some questions. One that struck me was something like this.
Interviewer: “Do you ever feel that to make money on the stock market one has to sacrifice morals? For example, if you know that a stock is going to make a lot of money, but you disagree with its business practices, do you ever worry that you are hurting the same causes you are trying to help by investing in it?”
Interviewee: “Well, if you actually think about the stock market, and how complex it is, you have to realize that if I didn’t buy this stock, someone else would. Because the game is so huge and complex, which stock I invest in doesn’t matter, because someone else would be investing in it anyways. That way I can be cut-throat in my trading without worrying about the consequences.”
Unfortunately I can’t remember the name of the guy and I couldn’t find the interview on the NPR website, but it got me thinking. Is it possible for people to play a role in something as huge, impersonal and complex as the stock market? If something like the stock market is mathematically reduced to Chaos Theory, does what you invest in matter? Or is everything very very related? Another thing I’ve been lightly keeping my eye on is the housing market, which is quickly cooling, and perhaps even bursting. Are these bubbles simply mathematical constructs that happen when a system like our economy is so very large, or are they profoundly influenced by personal choices?
The first recorded boom and bust cycle that resembles anything our markets go through now happened in the years of 1635-36, in the Dutch Netherlands. And the product was not gold, spices, silk, or any other strict commodity. It was Tulips.
That’s right. The Tulip has a long and interesting history as a flower. The first Tulips were in the steppes of Tibet, and were idolized by the warriors and tribes there as a flower of the Gods. Because the steppes are notorious for being lackluster in color, it is easy to see how the people there would have been in awe of this brightly colored flower that stood up straight from the rocks. The blood-red hue of the original Tulips made them perfect to be worn into battle.
The English word for Tulip comes because Arabs generally worn them in their turbans. The Mongol Horde brought the Tulip with them to the Middle East, where is stayed and became cultivated. It was there that the Tulip truly came into its own in terms of prestige, probably because the Arabic word for Tulip is lale which is made up of the same characters as Allah. It became the holiest of flowers.
From there it made its slow journey to the Netherlands. At the height of the Tulip frenzy, a single tulip bulb would be the most valuable object in all of Amsterdam. The most famous bulb was recorded for selling at 6,000 Florins, with the average Dutch worker making around 150 Florins annually. Today the average US salary is 35,000 a year, so that Tulip sold today (yeah yeah its hard to compare two economies but whatever) would be around 1,400,000. In 1637 the market crashed because of over-speculation and people realizing that prices could not climb any higher. The Dutch economy was shattered and thousands ended up with bulbs that they paid hundreds of times market value for. The Netherlands then quickly came down the bubonic plague right after that (not relevant but man their luck sucked).
So who was to blame for the first market bubble bursting? Chaos theory or human error? I would say that human error has everything to do with it, and that even a system as complex as the stock market is made up only by a series of choices. It’s funny that a system made up of human choices ends up being described as chaotic (in a mathematical sense).
Traffic follows the same rules. When you apply models to traffic the closest mathematical models that fit are fluid dynamics. But really each ounce of pressure to the break and gas are human choices. Is it a coincidence that human choices end up looking like we follow nature’s laws in our decisions, that from a distance we model like falling leaves or spilling water? Is it possible to simply leave morals out of it because from a distance we have no control over what everyone else does?
But just where do you draw the line on that? If there is an average amount of murders in the US, and if no life is substantially better than another, would it be fine to just kill someone now, because there is an average and thus your decision seems to indicate that another person would be saved from murder because of averages. When looked at it this way the remark that we have no control over the complex systems we create is both ridiculous and defeatist.
Just felt like posting this, cause I thought it was relatively interesting and no one had posted in a week. PLEASE feel free to comment on any mistakes or flaws in logic that you see in either the history or the economic stuff, I welcome any input.
Interviewer: “Do you ever feel that to make money on the stock market one has to sacrifice morals? For example, if you know that a stock is going to make a lot of money, but you disagree with its business practices, do you ever worry that you are hurting the same causes you are trying to help by investing in it?”
Interviewee: “Well, if you actually think about the stock market, and how complex it is, you have to realize that if I didn’t buy this stock, someone else would. Because the game is so huge and complex, which stock I invest in doesn’t matter, because someone else would be investing in it anyways. That way I can be cut-throat in my trading without worrying about the consequences.”
Unfortunately I can’t remember the name of the guy and I couldn’t find the interview on the NPR website, but it got me thinking. Is it possible for people to play a role in something as huge, impersonal and complex as the stock market? If something like the stock market is mathematically reduced to Chaos Theory, does what you invest in matter? Or is everything very very related? Another thing I’ve been lightly keeping my eye on is the housing market, which is quickly cooling, and perhaps even bursting. Are these bubbles simply mathematical constructs that happen when a system like our economy is so very large, or are they profoundly influenced by personal choices?
The first recorded boom and bust cycle that resembles anything our markets go through now happened in the years of 1635-36, in the Dutch Netherlands. And the product was not gold, spices, silk, or any other strict commodity. It was Tulips.
That’s right. The Tulip has a long and interesting history as a flower. The first Tulips were in the steppes of Tibet, and were idolized by the warriors and tribes there as a flower of the Gods. Because the steppes are notorious for being lackluster in color, it is easy to see how the people there would have been in awe of this brightly colored flower that stood up straight from the rocks. The blood-red hue of the original Tulips made them perfect to be worn into battle.
The English word for Tulip comes because Arabs generally worn them in their turbans. The Mongol Horde brought the Tulip with them to the Middle East, where is stayed and became cultivated. It was there that the Tulip truly came into its own in terms of prestige, probably because the Arabic word for Tulip is lale which is made up of the same characters as Allah. It became the holiest of flowers.
From there it made its slow journey to the Netherlands. At the height of the Tulip frenzy, a single tulip bulb would be the most valuable object in all of Amsterdam. The most famous bulb was recorded for selling at 6,000 Florins, with the average Dutch worker making around 150 Florins annually. Today the average US salary is 35,000 a year, so that Tulip sold today (yeah yeah its hard to compare two economies but whatever) would be around 1,400,000. In 1637 the market crashed because of over-speculation and people realizing that prices could not climb any higher. The Dutch economy was shattered and thousands ended up with bulbs that they paid hundreds of times market value for. The Netherlands then quickly came down the bubonic plague right after that (not relevant but man their luck sucked).
So who was to blame for the first market bubble bursting? Chaos theory or human error? I would say that human error has everything to do with it, and that even a system as complex as the stock market is made up only by a series of choices. It’s funny that a system made up of human choices ends up being described as chaotic (in a mathematical sense).
Traffic follows the same rules. When you apply models to traffic the closest mathematical models that fit are fluid dynamics. But really each ounce of pressure to the break and gas are human choices. Is it a coincidence that human choices end up looking like we follow nature’s laws in our decisions, that from a distance we model like falling leaves or spilling water? Is it possible to simply leave morals out of it because from a distance we have no control over what everyone else does?
But just where do you draw the line on that? If there is an average amount of murders in the US, and if no life is substantially better than another, would it be fine to just kill someone now, because there is an average and thus your decision seems to indicate that another person would be saved from murder because of averages. When looked at it this way the remark that we have no control over the complex systems we create is both ridiculous and defeatist.
Just felt like posting this, cause I thought it was relatively interesting and no one had posted in a week. PLEASE feel free to comment on any mistakes or flaws in logic that you see in either the history or the economic stuff, I welcome any input.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Born to be Oscar Wilde
Hey. I'm going on vacaation to Washington DC this week, so I felt it appropriate to do this bona fide politcal column/analysis. Have a good week all, good luck with move in if I don't get back to see you.
And so people who don't care about politics, I challenge you to read and get as much out of this as you can. And to reward you, I'll put a picture link of jello being nailed to a wall at the bottom.
Peace,
Chris
Hilary? McCain? Ha ha. No.
From where will our nominees come?
Understandably, when looking for a Presidential nominee, we start in the Senate. It has long been thought that the Senate it comprised of the most honorable, experienced, wise, and skillful politicians in our public service construct. Many politicos believe that the Senate is a veritable farm of political leadership, and that there is no place better to find a candidate suited to win in a national election.
Believe it no more. This the distinction belongs to our Governors.
Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, and Carter were all Governors when they campaigned for their party’s nomination. Going back further, we can note that Gerald Ford failed win a full term (he was a Congressman) and that Richard Nixon was VP before rising to the oval office. Lyndon Baines Johnson is the most recent former US Senator to have won a Presidential election, and LBJ was launched to the Presidency by an assassin’s bullet.
John F. Kennedy is the last US Senator to make the direct jump from the Senate to the Presidency. He did it in 1960, twelve national elections ago. Fact is, with the emphasis we (and our medias) put on national, as opposed to regional, politics, senators are damaged goods by the time they get to the end of the primary season.
We all saw what happened to John Kerry. Sure, he wasn’t exactly resolute in his politics, but he was not the flip-flopper the Republican machine made him out to be. It was asserted that he, on 350 occasions, voted to hike our taxes. In reality, most of those votes were cast to end debate, yea/nay an amendment, or get a bill out of committee and onto the floor.
The lesson: a Senator’s voting record is his/her’s opponent’s greatest weapon. It is the greatest, most abundant source of what an opposition can use to smear their opponent, and afterwards, defend as empirical truth. Governors (and incumbent Presidents) don’t have detailed voting records to be bandied about to contradict their stated views.
Do any of us really think that Hilary could survive this scrutinizing of her Senate votes? Imagine: “Clinton has voted 1000 times for the war and 2000 times against abortion.”
Hypothetically, could McCain stay face after the revealing of his telling voting record? After trying to rub elbows with the Christian right—W. Bush’s current base—Senator McCain’s socially near-liberal views on same-sex marriage and the relation between church and state would be revealed.
Governors are free of such baggage (and of this administration and Congress’ failures), and only sign/veto bills that make it to their desk.
Govs also can rise to legendary status for leading their states through major events or natural disasters. We have seen Jeb Bush’s (R-FL) stock rise after guiding Florida through the last two overly-active hurricane seasons. Mitt Romney scored points for expediting the Olympics in Salt Lake, although he wasn’t Governor then.
Senators are not really the leaders of anything. Sure, they are senior diplomats, but do they lead? Especially in this age where we turn to our President in times of crisis, we want someone who has already dealt with such crises. At this point, the only thing Senators have proved able to do is raising their own pay and sitting in debate about flag burning until their next vacation.
As promised: http://teachers.henrico.k12.va.us/freeman/zanetti_s/jello.jpg
And so people who don't care about politics, I challenge you to read and get as much out of this as you can. And to reward you, I'll put a picture link of jello being nailed to a wall at the bottom.
Peace,
Chris
Hilary? McCain? Ha ha. No.
From where will our nominees come?
Understandably, when looking for a Presidential nominee, we start in the Senate. It has long been thought that the Senate it comprised of the most honorable, experienced, wise, and skillful politicians in our public service construct. Many politicos believe that the Senate is a veritable farm of political leadership, and that there is no place better to find a candidate suited to win in a national election.
Believe it no more. This the distinction belongs to our Governors.
Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, and Carter were all Governors when they campaigned for their party’s nomination. Going back further, we can note that Gerald Ford failed win a full term (he was a Congressman) and that Richard Nixon was VP before rising to the oval office. Lyndon Baines Johnson is the most recent former US Senator to have won a Presidential election, and LBJ was launched to the Presidency by an assassin’s bullet.
John F. Kennedy is the last US Senator to make the direct jump from the Senate to the Presidency. He did it in 1960, twelve national elections ago. Fact is, with the emphasis we (and our medias) put on national, as opposed to regional, politics, senators are damaged goods by the time they get to the end of the primary season.
We all saw what happened to John Kerry. Sure, he wasn’t exactly resolute in his politics, but he was not the flip-flopper the Republican machine made him out to be. It was asserted that he, on 350 occasions, voted to hike our taxes. In reality, most of those votes were cast to end debate, yea/nay an amendment, or get a bill out of committee and onto the floor.
The lesson: a Senator’s voting record is his/her’s opponent’s greatest weapon. It is the greatest, most abundant source of what an opposition can use to smear their opponent, and afterwards, defend as empirical truth. Governors (and incumbent Presidents) don’t have detailed voting records to be bandied about to contradict their stated views.
Do any of us really think that Hilary could survive this scrutinizing of her Senate votes? Imagine: “Clinton has voted 1000 times for the war and 2000 times against abortion.”
Hypothetically, could McCain stay face after the revealing of his telling voting record? After trying to rub elbows with the Christian right—W. Bush’s current base—Senator McCain’s socially near-liberal views on same-sex marriage and the relation between church and state would be revealed.
Governors are free of such baggage (and of this administration and Congress’ failures), and only sign/veto bills that make it to their desk.
Govs also can rise to legendary status for leading their states through major events or natural disasters. We have seen Jeb Bush’s (R-FL) stock rise after guiding Florida through the last two overly-active hurricane seasons. Mitt Romney scored points for expediting the Olympics in Salt Lake, although he wasn’t Governor then.
Senators are not really the leaders of anything. Sure, they are senior diplomats, but do they lead? Especially in this age where we turn to our President in times of crisis, we want someone who has already dealt with such crises. At this point, the only thing Senators have proved able to do is raising their own pay and sitting in debate about flag burning until their next vacation.
As promised: http://teachers.henrico.k12.va.us/freeman/zanetti_s/jello.jpg
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
To Wrap It Up: Ann Coulter Has Cojones
Man I wish reporters at the White House would grow some cojones.
"So President Bush, your concern for the Avian Flu is that it might evolve into a strain that is passable from human to human?"
"That's right."
"Mr. President, I thought you didn't believe in evolution."
"........."
"Sir?"
"Well... I believe in Intelligent Design."
"So God wants a plague to evolve?"
"....yes."
On a lighter note.
Anyone ever heard of Bible Dipping? Well, there’s a new fad these days called Coulter Dips. Go to your nearest bookstore and find Ann Coulter’s new hardcover book “Godless: The Church of Liberalism”, open it to a random page and read a random sentence. The results will astound you. Forget reading your horoscope, Ann Coulter Dips can provide you with valuable life lessons and advice.
The following are three real Ann Coulter Dips:
“Of course, only teachers get long summer vacations, ‘professional development’ days, snow days, and every conceivable federal holiday, it appears that the only people who get better compensation that teachers for nine month’s work are professional baseball players (157).”
“The Democrats will sell out blacks, blue-collar workers, Catholics, Hispanics, and the elderly (97).” I would dearly love to know the sentence above that one, but I can’t, it’s against the rules of the Ann Coulter Dip.
“At least the embryonic stem-cell researchers have a clear financial incentive to lie about adult stem-cell research. Liberals just want to kill humans (195).” Whoops read the next sentence!
"So President Bush, your concern for the Avian Flu is that it might evolve into a strain that is passable from human to human?"
"That's right."
"Mr. President, I thought you didn't believe in evolution."
"........."
"Sir?"
"Well... I believe in Intelligent Design."
"So God wants a plague to evolve?"
"....yes."
On a lighter note.
Anyone ever heard of Bible Dipping? Well, there’s a new fad these days called Coulter Dips. Go to your nearest bookstore and find Ann Coulter’s new hardcover book “Godless: The Church of Liberalism”, open it to a random page and read a random sentence. The results will astound you. Forget reading your horoscope, Ann Coulter Dips can provide you with valuable life lessons and advice.
The following are three real Ann Coulter Dips:
“Of course, only teachers get long summer vacations, ‘professional development’ days, snow days, and every conceivable federal holiday, it appears that the only people who get better compensation that teachers for nine month’s work are professional baseball players (157).”
“The Democrats will sell out blacks, blue-collar workers, Catholics, Hispanics, and the elderly (97).” I would dearly love to know the sentence above that one, but I can’t, it’s against the rules of the Ann Coulter Dip.
“At least the embryonic stem-cell researchers have a clear financial incentive to lie about adult stem-cell research. Liberals just want to kill humans (195).” Whoops read the next sentence!
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
I am SO gonna buy a gun if you worthless losers don't comment
Listen, you who call yourselves "Americans". Show your patriotism and comment in the frickin blog. The other night, you people were reeling off names for periods like a Cambodian 7-year-old does Nike sneakers. Now that the post is up, NOTHING.
Now i know that the blog just started and the ball isn't rolling, but this blog is as much about comments as it is abuot posts. Sufficient spew is not achieved in a post, it needs sufficient after-post comment spew to hold it up. And it's YOUR JOB AS AN AMERICAN! Don't ask me why, but if you don't cmoment, we'll all be wearing turbans in a month. Either that, or we'll all have to go on Fear Factor with Joe Rogan and take a bath in cow feces.
For a picture of cow feces, click here:
http://www.hobotraveler.com/162nepaltoamsterdam/fecesstirringmethanegasnepal.jpg
Couldn't resist, could you? Now go add your period names to the post. Here's another: burgandy blowout. Now go!
p.s. I was just sent - via house elf courier - this link: http://www.mum.org/armedyb4.htm about the current place of menstration in our modern public society. Check it out, but wear a pad, it's the only copy.
Now i know that the blog just started and the ball isn't rolling, but this blog is as much about comments as it is abuot posts. Sufficient spew is not achieved in a post, it needs sufficient after-post comment spew to hold it up. And it's YOUR JOB AS AN AMERICAN! Don't ask me why, but if you don't cmoment, we'll all be wearing turbans in a month. Either that, or we'll all have to go on Fear Factor with Joe Rogan and take a bath in cow feces.
For a picture of cow feces, click here:
http://www.hobotraveler.com/162nepaltoamsterdam/fecesstirringmethanegasnepal.jpg
Couldn't resist, could you? Now go add your period names to the post. Here's another: burgandy blowout. Now go!
p.s. I was just sent - via house elf courier - this link: http://www.mum.org/armedyb4.htm about the current place of menstration in our modern public society. Check it out, but wear a pad, it's the only copy.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
I've been told that Wheat Thins are a good cramps food.
We've all been around it, whether we realize it or not. girls all experience it, and like to talk about it, even when guys are around.
ESPECIALLY when guys are around.
If you're still in the dark, we're talking about periods. If you don't have a copy of "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" within reach, a girl's period is the week of every month when she really hates you and really loves chocolate. It also has a lot to do with the ability to concieve and the natural ovarian egg cycle, but we don't really care about that.
What we DO care about is what you call your period. We started this brainstorm session at Hannah's a few weeks back, so add to it in the comments section and we'll pick a favorite, who will be awarded absolutely nothing. I'll start this off with a few of my favorites so you see how it goes-
ketchup kerpunzle
ruby tuesday
bloody sunday
strawberry slammer
Ok, people. You can do much better, go crazy!
ESPECIALLY when guys are around.
If you're still in the dark, we're talking about periods. If you don't have a copy of "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" within reach, a girl's period is the week of every month when she really hates you and really loves chocolate. It also has a lot to do with the ability to concieve and the natural ovarian egg cycle, but we don't really care about that.
What we DO care about is what you call your period. We started this brainstorm session at Hannah's a few weeks back, so add to it in the comments section and we'll pick a favorite, who will be awarded absolutely nothing. I'll start this off with a few of my favorites so you see how it goes-
ketchup kerpunzle
ruby tuesday
bloody sunday
strawberry slammer
Ok, people. You can do much better, go crazy!
Friday, August 11, 2006
Ma!? The meatloaf! MAAAAAAAAA!?!?
Hey. I’m Chris and I’m the other Phoenix serial killer. No, the one that hasn’t been caught yet. Yah.
So I don’t think that senselessly (yet, efficiently, if I may add) killing people was contributing to society. So instead of committing my ninth and subsequent murders, I’m writing in this blog. It’s sort of like killing people, except less blood.
As you get used to me and my writing, you’ll notice that I like to be narrow in my entries, and that I am not afraid to extend an issue over three or four updates. I do this so that my points don’t get too diluted. Many columns bite off more than they can chew, like this one I saw the other day:
Iraq is an evil ploy for oil.
Bush is a stupid, dangerous man that will start WWIII.
Red peppers are much sweeter than green ones.
Barbara Streisand was never worth the hype.
Star Jones must have had lipo, and she deserved to be fired.
Seriously. Chicago Tribune, July 23, page C6, bottom fold on the right.
Another thing I won’t do is get personal. Writing “Bush is an a**hole” doesn’t mean, solve, or settle anything (even if he is).
Lastly, I won’t be arrogant in my arguments. Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter, and Michael Moore use the “because I’m right, dammit!” method of persuasion. I won’t. It’s retarded.
I challenge all to follow these guidelines, and we can really cover much more ground if we do.
If I break a rule, call me on it, I’ll listen, or read, or type, or rype, or byke, or dyke. Actually, I won’t dyke, but any of the others I’ll gladly do.
I plan to lighten things up, too. Back in middle school, Ben, Dan McGrath, Blaise and I founded the comedy magazine “The Daily Satire”. It came out bi-weekly and after four issues, we lost interest.
I like to satirize the news, à la (but not nearly as well as) The Daily Show or The Onion, so I’ll throw that in there. Or if I stumble across something really wicked sweet (like a blue and purple carrot) on the internet, I’ll post it. Why not?
Other than that, it’s up to you, we’ll see where this goes, where it gets taken.
Keep it real
(I still have no idea what that means),
Chris
So I don’t think that senselessly (yet, efficiently, if I may add) killing people was contributing to society. So instead of committing my ninth and subsequent murders, I’m writing in this blog. It’s sort of like killing people, except less blood.
As you get used to me and my writing, you’ll notice that I like to be narrow in my entries, and that I am not afraid to extend an issue over three or four updates. I do this so that my points don’t get too diluted. Many columns bite off more than they can chew, like this one I saw the other day:
Iraq is an evil ploy for oil.
Bush is a stupid, dangerous man that will start WWIII.
Red peppers are much sweeter than green ones.
Barbara Streisand was never worth the hype.
Star Jones must have had lipo, and she deserved to be fired.
Seriously. Chicago Tribune, July 23, page C6, bottom fold on the right.
Another thing I won’t do is get personal. Writing “Bush is an a**hole” doesn’t mean, solve, or settle anything (even if he is).
Lastly, I won’t be arrogant in my arguments. Bill O’Reilly, Ann Coulter, and Michael Moore use the “because I’m right, dammit!” method of persuasion. I won’t. It’s retarded.
I challenge all to follow these guidelines, and we can really cover much more ground if we do.
If I break a rule, call me on it, I’ll listen, or read, or type, or rype, or byke, or dyke. Actually, I won’t dyke, but any of the others I’ll gladly do.
I plan to lighten things up, too. Back in middle school, Ben, Dan McGrath, Blaise and I founded the comedy magazine “The Daily Satire”. It came out bi-weekly and after four issues, we lost interest.
I like to satirize the news, à la (but not nearly as well as) The Daily Show or The Onion, so I’ll throw that in there. Or if I stumble across something really wicked sweet (like a blue and purple carrot) on the internet, I’ll post it. Why not?
Other than that, it’s up to you, we’ll see where this goes, where it gets taken.
Keep it real
(I still have no idea what that means),
Chris
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
